"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1
If you’ve been in church for any length of time, chances are that you’ve heard the Christian "walk" compared to running a race. It’s a sort of classic. This past weekend, at the Father’s Eyes Conference, I heard the same analogy used in a different light. Krista, the speaker (she’s GREAT), very nicely compared coming to Christ with training for a race. You see the neat little correlation there?:) She painted such a neat picture, that I just had to share it with you. I’m going write what she said as if I’m saying it though...it’s easier than all the "she said, and then she was like," and so on. But, unfortunately, I can’t take credit for it, lol...
Anyway...so a few years back, I went with my husband to the L.A. Marathon. He’s much more athletic than me, and he’d decided he was going to do it. So of course I was there to cheer him on:) When we got there, it was so cool! Everyone there was so pumped up to be there! It was like...all these people, who don’t even know each other personally or anything, were all there for the same purpose! And that one thing that they had in common made everyone so friendly, and nice, and accepting of each other. Because they all agreed on everything? No, cause they were all runners! It was really cool:) Anyhow, I positioned myself near the finish line, so that I could get a good shot of Kyle crossing the finish line. The cool part was, I got to see everyone cross the finish line:) It was one of the coolest things I’ve ever watched. Every single one of those people...you could tell, by the way they crossed the finish line, why they ran the race. Some of them ran strong, all the way up to the finish line and collapsed! You could tell that marathon took every ounce of energy they had in them, but they gave it all. It was a real test of determination and self will. Some of them "ran" across the finish line as if they were about to die. It was like they weren’t sure they were ever going to make it all the way, and then saw the finish line, and had to force themselves just to finish! It was their first marathon, and the goal was just to do it. Some of them ran across the finish line, pumping their arms over their heads, with big triumphant grins spread across their faces. They’d done it before, and knew they could do it, but came again year after year, to prove that they were still in the game. It was, by far, the coolest thing I’ve watched. After watching that marathon, I knew, somehow, I was gonna run next year. I decided...that was something I wanted to be a part of. But...just wanting to be a part of it wasn’t going to be enough. There were definitely some steps that I had to take in order to get there. It’s the same way with coming to Christ. You can go to your friend’s youth group, and realize that it’s something you want to be a part of, but there are steps you have to take in order to really become a follower of Christ.
First off, you have to make a decision. I decided that I was going to run the L.A. Marathon in one year. If I’d just thought, "That’d be cool, maybe I’ll join in next time ’round," I can guarantee that the next year, I’d just be taking pictures again. I had to make a real, concious decision that running that marathon was something I was determined to do, and that it was worth taking the next step to do. If you’re checking out Christianity, and thinking, "Yeah, it’d be cool to be a ’christian’...maybe I’ll go to church next week if I feel like it." I can almost guarantee that you’re not going to stay with it - and that makes a huge difference. You need to decide, with all your heart, mind, and will, that you believe in what Jesus did for you, and you want to follow Him.
Secondly, you have to get real! When I decided I was going to run that marathon, I was not ready to actually run it. I knew this. I knew I was going from running maybe once a week...or...at least walking once a week, to running twenty-six point two miles! Now, I don’t know why they throw the "point two!" in there, as if twenty-six miles isn’t enough, but it kind of made it that much more challenging just to think about. Anyway, I’d decided I was going to do this. So I went out and bought a cute running outfit to motivate myself - I’m not a runner, but hey, I can look the part anyway;) So the next Monday, I went out to see what I could do. *hangs head in shame* I couldn’t even run a half a mile without stopping! Seriously, half a mile from home, I was sitting on the curb thinking, "there is no way I’m ever gonna be able to run twenty-six point two miles!" *sigh* I had a ton of work to do. I was nowhere near my goal. Now, I could’ve gone home and lied to my husband and said, "Psh, that first mile was easy! I’ve got a year to train for this? This is gonna be a cinch!"...or I could get real, and walk in the house with my head hung in shame, and say, "...Honey I stink! I can’t even run a half mile! You’ve done this before. Train me, please!!" Well, it didn’t feel great to say it, but if I was gonna run that race next year...I needed his help. So I asked for it.
Coming to Christ, just like my pathetic first attempt at running, is not something you can fake. You gotta come straight to the throne of God, with all your weaknesses - He knows about ’em all anyway, so why act like you’ve got this whole Christian gig in the bag? You have to get real with God. My husband knew I wasn’t prepared to run that race, so he didn’t think I was silly to admit I needed his help, and he was willing to train me. God knows where you really stand, and He doesn’t expect you to have it altogether! And the awesome part is, He’s willing to train you. But first, you gotta get real with Him. Tell Him about your weaknesses, the baggage you’re carrying, the stuff you’ve done that you’re ashamed of, the attitudes you have that you know you shouldn’t...get real with Him, and let Him see all the areas where you need Him most - it’s mandatory if you ever expect to see growth and change.
Thirdly...you gotta start the transformation. For me to get ready for that marathon...it wasn’t enough to decide to run it, and then realize that I couldn’t! I had to take steps, I had to make changes. I had to change the way I ran, to get the most out of my efforts. I had to change the way I ate, to get rid of the junk that would just slow me down. I had to change the way I looked at pain, because pushing myself did not mean avoiding aching muscles, side stitches, and breaking a sweat. When you decide to follow Christ, and you get real with God and ask Him to train you, to prepare you for what following Him really takes...you’ve gotta take steps. You’ve gotta be willing to change the way you live! The way you talk, maybe that’s one of those areas where you had to get real with God, and say "Help me to clean up the way I talk, help me not to cuss, or mouth off, or gossip!" The way you dress, maybe God needs to transform you and change what motivates the way you dress. Maybe He needs to adjust the way you interact with your parents. Maybe He needs to polish up your self-esteem and help you to realize that you’re one of His children and He loves you. But these changes don’t just happen on their own. You belong to God, yes, but taking the steps to become more like Him is your responsibility. This doesn’t mean you’re earning His love or salvation. This means you’re doing your part, to keep yourself close to Him, to keep your heart soft to His Word, to keep yourself out of the habits that you know He doesn’t want for you. This means spending time in His Word, talking to Him through prayer, hanging out with people who will encourage you to be more like Christ, and doing something about it when God lays it on your heart to change something.
A year later, we were back at the L.A. Marathon. This time I was running! I was one of those people who was so pumped to be there! I could talk to the other people there about running, about getting ready for the marathon...some of the people who weren’t running had run before, and they were so encouraging:) When it was time to run, I was ready. Now my goal wasn’t to win the race...my goal was to finish. The gun went off, and we all started running. I was so excited! That twenty-six point two miles was long though! It was tiring! The excitement didn’t wear off though:) See, there were people all along the marathon route, and they were cheering everyone on! Even the people they didn’t know! They’d be cheering, "Yeah! Go 374! You’re doin’ good! Keep running!...Alright! C’mon 127!! Good job!" I had encouragement the whole way! Oh, then there were booths with water and little snacks, along the route. Those were horrible! Some people would stop, and drink a water bottle and eat a little power bar or something, but I told myself I wasn’t gonna stop. Those booths were like...Satan or something! Tempting me around every bend! Oh and what was even worse! People who were running...they’d...quit!!! Don’t get me wrong, I was tired too, but...they’d gone, y’know, 18 miles, and just...quit! It was so discouraging! Especially when, around mile 20, I couldn’t feel my legs! I knew if I stopped, I’d just flop to the ground, cause my legs were numb! But I had to keep going - I had to finish! And y’know what? I did. I was one of those people who collapsed afterward, but I finished! It was one of the coolest feelings in the world. I’d somehow been able to resist the urge to stop along the way, or to quit altogether, and I’d finished...my first marathon.
Guys, running the race, walking the Christian walk...it’s a lot like that marathon! There are tons of us running together - some are faster, slower, stronger, more fatigued, more excited, more discouraged - but we’re all running together. Check this out: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1 This "great cloud of witnesses" refers to the "Heroes of the Faith" mentioned in chapter 11. Those are the people, who’ve run before, and are now on the sidelines, cheering us on! They’ve run their race, they’ve crossed the finish line, and now they’re right up there with God, praising Him for our successes, cheering us on in our efforts to live for Him!...With that in mind...let us throw off everything that hinders us...the donuts that slow us down, the sodas that give us false energy...the music that keeps our minds on the world, the friends who make us feel good until we realize that they’re getting us to do things that are wrong, the attitudes that keep us from focusing on Christ...let’s actively throw those things off, and..."Let us fix our eyes on Jesus..." (Hebrews 12:2) I wanna cross that finish line...even if I fall down at His feet and say, "Lord, that took every ounce of effort that I had in me"...I want to cross that finish line. I’m sure it will be, literally, the coolest thing I’ve ever done.
(Inspired by Krista, Father’s Eyes Conference 2008)
On that note...
I’m aiming for the 5K first...;)
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Friday, March 7, 2008
Fascinating!
Have you ever read something, and then failed, for days, to get it out of your head? This is my state of mind since beginning "The Screwtape Letters". It is such an engenius work of literary art! Of course, that's a given...it's C.S. Lewis. Anyhow, I am about two thirds of the way through the book, and wish it were longer. It feels as if I've just started it! You know how that goes - the occasional "easy reading" book, whose pages seems to flip automatically and you're done before you know it! Why couldn't Lewis have lived longer, and written more! Not that I've read all his books, but I'm sure I can read them faster than he wrote them, and therefore will, before long, have read his entire works, and of course be wishing there were more. If any of you have not read "The Screwtape Letters" or any other book by C.S. Lewis ('Mere Christianity' is also an excellent book), you are definitely missing out. I'm sure you could buy one of his books for about the price of two lattes, and even if lattes must be skipped in order to do so, I guarantee it's worth it.
Anyhow...back to reading!:-D
Anyhow...back to reading!:-D
Thursday, March 6, 2008
My Cup of Tea
So...I have concluded that God likes tea...
Let me explain...
I'm sure most of you know that it is impossible to read any work of C.S. Lewis without finding some remarkable thought to marvel at, if not quote for years to come. I won't be quoting this one much after this blog, but only because it is far too long. This particular quote, from "The Screwtape Letters" is, of course, written from the perspective of Screwtape, a fairly experienced tempter in Satan's army. He is offering some constructive criticism to his nephew, who has slipped up, and allowed his 'patient' to have a moment alone with God... "And now for your blunders. On your own showing you first of all allowed the patient to read a book he really enjoyed, because he really enjoyed it and not in order to make clever remarks about it to his new friends. In the second place, you allowed him to walk down to the old mill and have tea there - a walk through the country he really likes, and taken alone. In other words you allowed him two real positive Pleasures! Were you so ignorant as not to see the danger of this? The characteristic of Pains and Pleasures is that they are unmistakable real, and therefore, as far as they go, give the man who feels them a touchstone of reality...Didn't you forsee that it would just kill by contrast all the trumpery which you have been so laboriously teaching him to value? And that the sort of pleasure which the book and the walk gave him was the most dangerous of all? That it would peel off from his sensibility the kind of crust you have been forming on it, and make him feel that he was coming home, recovering himself? As a preliminary to detaching him from the Enemy, you wanted to detach him from himself, and had made some progress in doing so. Now, all that is undone...Of course I know that the Enemy also wants to detach men from themselves, but in a different way. Remember always, that He really likes the little vermin, and sets an absurd value on the distinctness of every one of them. When He talks of their losing their selves, He only means abandoning the clamour of self-will; once they have done that, He really gives them back all their personality, and boasts (I am afraid, sincerely) that when they are wholly His they will be more themselves than ever!...I would make it a rule to eradicate from my patient any strong personal taste which is not actually a sin, even if it is something quite trivial such as a fondness for country cricket or collecting stamps or drinking cocoa. Such things, I grant you, have nothing of virtue in them; but there is a sort of innocence and humility and self-forgetfulness about them which I distrust. The man who truly and disinterestedly enjoys any one thing in the world, for its own sake, and without caring two-pence what other people say about it, is by that very fact forearmed against some of our subtlest modes of attack."
Now, "The Screwtape Letters" is certainly not scripture. But I doubt that anyone would claim that C.S. Lewis' writings lack real wisdom! I have noticed this phenomena before - that is, the affect of a "real Pleasure," as Screwtape calls them. When we do something simple that we simply enjoy simply for the reason that we enjoy it, there is peace...an unconcsious smile...an opportunity for God to enter our minds on a positive note! Previously in Screwtapes letters, he had encouraged Wormwood to nudge his patient toward fake pleasures - mingling in circles he did not truly enjoy being in, pretending to enjoy and know all about that circle's enjoyments, and in doing so forgetting the things that he, himself, truly enjoyed! His purpose being that we slowly become the thing that we pretend to be! On the other hand, and much to Screwtape's dismay, when we allow ourselves to experience a real Pleasure (the real kind, not perversions of the originals), and because we each prefer one or two kinds of Pleasure over others, we are then allowed to experience something we thought we never stopped experiencing: being ourselves. The real me is the me that God loves, bumps and blunders and blonde moments and all. If for just a moment I allow myself to feel like myself, it is at that moment that I allow myself to feel loved by God!
Now, this is not to say that we should indulge in anything that we define as "pleasure" and expect to feel loved by God. There are what Screwtape wisely calls (yes, a demon can speak wisely, and easier so when he is simply a voice of C.S. Lewis;)), *ahem* what Screwtape wisely calls "real Pleasures"... "You were trying to damn your patient by the World, that is by palming off vanity, bustle, irony and expensive tedium as pleasures. How can you have failed to see that a real Pleasure was the last thing you ought to have let him meet?" You see the difference? Real pleasures are enjoyable things as God intended them to be. The pleasures that Screwtape and Wormwood and the like would prefer us to "enjoy" are really distorted versions of real pleasures. It is important to understand the difference. For example, a cup of tea can be a real pleasure. It can offer a moment of escape from the busy-ness and to-do's of the day. These are the moments when it is easiest for me to stop all the bustling, retreat back to being myself, and pause to feel loved by God. This would not be the case if I were to sit on the toilet drinking tea all the time! An excess of this little Pleasure of mine would not be a real pleasure at all. It would truly be hard to even pretend it to be so. I'm sure you can see how big the difference can be. On the other hand, the difference can be quite small. I doubt that I need to go on to explain small differences. You all posess a bit of discernment. The point is, whatever real pleasures you know of in your life, whether it be a cup of tea, a good book, a nice walk, a cozy corner to relax in...whatever activity allows you to be you, without the influence of others, is an opportunity for you to realize reality - especially the reality that you are you, just the way you are, and God loves you.
As for my conclusion that God likes tea...what I really mean is, God enjoys the simple pleasures that help us to step away from the distractions around us, and enjoy Him. For you, it might not be tea...but whatever it is, do take the time to find out:)
Anywho...time for a cup of tea...
Let me explain...
I'm sure most of you know that it is impossible to read any work of C.S. Lewis without finding some remarkable thought to marvel at, if not quote for years to come. I won't be quoting this one much after this blog, but only because it is far too long. This particular quote, from "The Screwtape Letters" is, of course, written from the perspective of Screwtape, a fairly experienced tempter in Satan's army. He is offering some constructive criticism to his nephew, who has slipped up, and allowed his 'patient' to have a moment alone with God... "And now for your blunders. On your own showing you first of all allowed the patient to read a book he really enjoyed, because he really enjoyed it and not in order to make clever remarks about it to his new friends. In the second place, you allowed him to walk down to the old mill and have tea there - a walk through the country he really likes, and taken alone. In other words you allowed him two real positive Pleasures! Were you so ignorant as not to see the danger of this? The characteristic of Pains and Pleasures is that they are unmistakable real, and therefore, as far as they go, give the man who feels them a touchstone of reality...Didn't you forsee that it would just kill by contrast all the trumpery which you have been so laboriously teaching him to value? And that the sort of pleasure which the book and the walk gave him was the most dangerous of all? That it would peel off from his sensibility the kind of crust you have been forming on it, and make him feel that he was coming home, recovering himself? As a preliminary to detaching him from the Enemy, you wanted to detach him from himself, and had made some progress in doing so. Now, all that is undone...Of course I know that the Enemy also wants to detach men from themselves, but in a different way. Remember always, that He really likes the little vermin, and sets an absurd value on the distinctness of every one of them. When He talks of their losing their selves, He only means abandoning the clamour of self-will; once they have done that, He really gives them back all their personality, and boasts (I am afraid, sincerely) that when they are wholly His they will be more themselves than ever!...I would make it a rule to eradicate from my patient any strong personal taste which is not actually a sin, even if it is something quite trivial such as a fondness for country cricket or collecting stamps or drinking cocoa. Such things, I grant you, have nothing of virtue in them; but there is a sort of innocence and humility and self-forgetfulness about them which I distrust. The man who truly and disinterestedly enjoys any one thing in the world, for its own sake, and without caring two-pence what other people say about it, is by that very fact forearmed against some of our subtlest modes of attack."
Now, "The Screwtape Letters" is certainly not scripture. But I doubt that anyone would claim that C.S. Lewis' writings lack real wisdom! I have noticed this phenomena before - that is, the affect of a "real Pleasure," as Screwtape calls them. When we do something simple that we simply enjoy simply for the reason that we enjoy it, there is peace...an unconcsious smile...an opportunity for God to enter our minds on a positive note! Previously in Screwtapes letters, he had encouraged Wormwood to nudge his patient toward fake pleasures - mingling in circles he did not truly enjoy being in, pretending to enjoy and know all about that circle's enjoyments, and in doing so forgetting the things that he, himself, truly enjoyed! His purpose being that we slowly become the thing that we pretend to be! On the other hand, and much to Screwtape's dismay, when we allow ourselves to experience a real Pleasure (the real kind, not perversions of the originals), and because we each prefer one or two kinds of Pleasure over others, we are then allowed to experience something we thought we never stopped experiencing: being ourselves. The real me is the me that God loves, bumps and blunders and blonde moments and all. If for just a moment I allow myself to feel like myself, it is at that moment that I allow myself to feel loved by God!
Now, this is not to say that we should indulge in anything that we define as "pleasure" and expect to feel loved by God. There are what Screwtape wisely calls (yes, a demon can speak wisely, and easier so when he is simply a voice of C.S. Lewis;)), *ahem* what Screwtape wisely calls "real Pleasures"... "You were trying to damn your patient by the World, that is by palming off vanity, bustle, irony and expensive tedium as pleasures. How can you have failed to see that a real Pleasure was the last thing you ought to have let him meet?" You see the difference? Real pleasures are enjoyable things as God intended them to be. The pleasures that Screwtape and Wormwood and the like would prefer us to "enjoy" are really distorted versions of real pleasures. It is important to understand the difference. For example, a cup of tea can be a real pleasure. It can offer a moment of escape from the busy-ness and to-do's of the day. These are the moments when it is easiest for me to stop all the bustling, retreat back to being myself, and pause to feel loved by God. This would not be the case if I were to sit on the toilet drinking tea all the time! An excess of this little Pleasure of mine would not be a real pleasure at all. It would truly be hard to even pretend it to be so. I'm sure you can see how big the difference can be. On the other hand, the difference can be quite small. I doubt that I need to go on to explain small differences. You all posess a bit of discernment. The point is, whatever real pleasures you know of in your life, whether it be a cup of tea, a good book, a nice walk, a cozy corner to relax in...whatever activity allows you to be you, without the influence of others, is an opportunity for you to realize reality - especially the reality that you are you, just the way you are, and God loves you.
As for my conclusion that God likes tea...what I really mean is, God enjoys the simple pleasures that help us to step away from the distractions around us, and enjoy Him. For you, it might not be tea...but whatever it is, do take the time to find out:)
Anywho...time for a cup of tea...
My dear Wormwood,
If you do not know what 'The Screwtape Letters' are...
Wormwood: a junior tempter in Satan's army
Screwtape: Wormwoods uncle, an experienced tempter with much advice and many grand examples of keen tempting, for his nephew to learn from.
The Enemy: God
The patient: the human that Wormwood has been assigned to; Wormwood is to ensure his patient does not wander too close to the Enemy (God), or ever truly become one of His.
Wormwood's patient has previously converted to Christianity, but is now enduring his first "slump"...here we find Screwtape's advice for Wormwood...
My dear Wormwood,
Obviously you are making excellent progress. My only fear is lest in attempting to hurry the patient you awaken him to a sense of his real position. For you and I, who see that position as it really is, must never forget how totally different it ought to appear to him. We know that we have introduced a change of direction in his course which is already carrying him out of his orbit around the Enemy; but he must be made to imagine that all the choices which have affected this change of course are trivial and revocable. He must not be allowed to suspect that he is now, however slowly, heading right away from the sun on a line which will carry him into the cold and dark of utmost space.
For this reason I am almost glad to hear that he is still a churchgoer and a communicant. I know there are dangers in this; but anything is better than that he should realise the break he has made with the first months of his Christian life. As long as he retains externally the habits of a Christian he can still be made to think or himself as one who has adopted a few new friends and amusements but whose psiritual state is much the same as it was six weeks ago. And while he thinks that, we do not have to contend with the explicit repentance of a definite, fully recognised, sin, but only with his vague, though uneasy, feeling that he hasn't been doing very well lately.
This dim uneasiness needs careful handling. If it gets too strong it may wake him up and spoil the whole game. On the other hand, if you supress it entirely - which, by the by, the Enemy will probably not allow you to do - we lose an element in the situation which can be turned to good account. If such a feeling is allowed to live, but not alowed to become irresistible and flower into real repentance, it has one invaluable tendency. It increases the patient's reluctance to think about the Enemy. All humans at nearly all times have some such reluctance; but when thinking of Him involved facing and intensifying a whole vague cloud of half-conscious guilt, this reluctance is increased tenfold. They hate every idea that suggests Him, just as men in financial embarassment hate the very sight of a pass-book. In this state your patient will not omit, but he will increasingly dislike, his religious duties. He will think about them a little as he feels he decently can beforehand, and forget them as soon as possible when they are over. A few weeks ago you had to tempt him to unreality and inattention in his prayers: but not you will find him opening his arms to you and almost begging you to distract his purpose and benumb his heart. He will want his prayers to be unreal, for he will dread nothing so much as effective contact with the Enemy. His aim will be to let sleeping worms lie.
As this condition becomes more fully established, you will be gradually freed from the tiresome business of providing Pleasures as temptations. As the uneasiness and his reluctance to face it cut him off more and more from all real happiness, and as habit renders the pleasures of vanity and excitement and flippancy at once less pleasant and harder to forgo (for that is what habit fortunately does to a pleasure) you will find that anything or nothing is sufficient to attract his wandering attention. You no longer need a good book, which he realy likes, to keep him from his prayers or his work or his sleep; a column of advertisements in yesterday's paper will do. You can make him waste his time not only in conversations he enjoys with people whom he likes, but in conversations with those he cares nothing about on subjects that bore him. You can make him do nothing at all for long periods. You can keep him up late at night, not roistering, but staring at a dead fire in a cold room. All the healthy and out-going activities which we want him to avoid can be inhibited and given in return, so that at least he may say, as one of my own patients said on his arrival down here, 'I now see that I spent most of my life in doing neither what I ought nor what I liked.' The Christians describe the Enemy as one 'without whom Nothing is strong'. And Nothing is ery strong: strong enough to steal away a man's best years not in sweet sins but in dreary flickering of the mind over it knows not what and knows now why, in the gratification of curiousities so feeble that the man is only half aware of them, in drumming of fingers and kicking of heels, in whistling tunes that he does not like, or in the long, dim labyrinth of reveries that have not even lust or ambition to give them a relish, but which, once chance association has started them, the creature is too weak and fuddled to shake off.
You will say that these are very small sins; and doubtless, like all young tempters, you are anxious to be able to report spectacular wickedness. But do remember, the only thing that matters is the extent to which you separate the man from the Enemy. It does not matter how small the sins are provided that the cumulative effect is to edge the man away from the Light and out into Nothing. Murder is no better than cards if cards will do the trick. Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts...
Your affectionate uncle,
Screwtape
The Screwtape Letters
By C.S. Lewis
Wormwood: a junior tempter in Satan's army
Screwtape: Wormwoods uncle, an experienced tempter with much advice and many grand examples of keen tempting, for his nephew to learn from.
The Enemy: God
The patient: the human that Wormwood has been assigned to; Wormwood is to ensure his patient does not wander too close to the Enemy (God), or ever truly become one of His.
Wormwood's patient has previously converted to Christianity, but is now enduring his first "slump"...here we find Screwtape's advice for Wormwood...
My dear Wormwood,
Obviously you are making excellent progress. My only fear is lest in attempting to hurry the patient you awaken him to a sense of his real position. For you and I, who see that position as it really is, must never forget how totally different it ought to appear to him. We know that we have introduced a change of direction in his course which is already carrying him out of his orbit around the Enemy; but he must be made to imagine that all the choices which have affected this change of course are trivial and revocable. He must not be allowed to suspect that he is now, however slowly, heading right away from the sun on a line which will carry him into the cold and dark of utmost space.
For this reason I am almost glad to hear that he is still a churchgoer and a communicant. I know there are dangers in this; but anything is better than that he should realise the break he has made with the first months of his Christian life. As long as he retains externally the habits of a Christian he can still be made to think or himself as one who has adopted a few new friends and amusements but whose psiritual state is much the same as it was six weeks ago. And while he thinks that, we do not have to contend with the explicit repentance of a definite, fully recognised, sin, but only with his vague, though uneasy, feeling that he hasn't been doing very well lately.
This dim uneasiness needs careful handling. If it gets too strong it may wake him up and spoil the whole game. On the other hand, if you supress it entirely - which, by the by, the Enemy will probably not allow you to do - we lose an element in the situation which can be turned to good account. If such a feeling is allowed to live, but not alowed to become irresistible and flower into real repentance, it has one invaluable tendency. It increases the patient's reluctance to think about the Enemy. All humans at nearly all times have some such reluctance; but when thinking of Him involved facing and intensifying a whole vague cloud of half-conscious guilt, this reluctance is increased tenfold. They hate every idea that suggests Him, just as men in financial embarassment hate the very sight of a pass-book. In this state your patient will not omit, but he will increasingly dislike, his religious duties. He will think about them a little as he feels he decently can beforehand, and forget them as soon as possible when they are over. A few weeks ago you had to tempt him to unreality and inattention in his prayers: but not you will find him opening his arms to you and almost begging you to distract his purpose and benumb his heart. He will want his prayers to be unreal, for he will dread nothing so much as effective contact with the Enemy. His aim will be to let sleeping worms lie.
As this condition becomes more fully established, you will be gradually freed from the tiresome business of providing Pleasures as temptations. As the uneasiness and his reluctance to face it cut him off more and more from all real happiness, and as habit renders the pleasures of vanity and excitement and flippancy at once less pleasant and harder to forgo (for that is what habit fortunately does to a pleasure) you will find that anything or nothing is sufficient to attract his wandering attention. You no longer need a good book, which he realy likes, to keep him from his prayers or his work or his sleep; a column of advertisements in yesterday's paper will do. You can make him waste his time not only in conversations he enjoys with people whom he likes, but in conversations with those he cares nothing about on subjects that bore him. You can make him do nothing at all for long periods. You can keep him up late at night, not roistering, but staring at a dead fire in a cold room. All the healthy and out-going activities which we want him to avoid can be inhibited and given in return, so that at least he may say, as one of my own patients said on his arrival down here, 'I now see that I spent most of my life in doing neither what I ought nor what I liked.' The Christians describe the Enemy as one 'without whom Nothing is strong'. And Nothing is ery strong: strong enough to steal away a man's best years not in sweet sins but in dreary flickering of the mind over it knows not what and knows now why, in the gratification of curiousities so feeble that the man is only half aware of them, in drumming of fingers and kicking of heels, in whistling tunes that he does not like, or in the long, dim labyrinth of reveries that have not even lust or ambition to give them a relish, but which, once chance association has started them, the creature is too weak and fuddled to shake off.
You will say that these are very small sins; and doubtless, like all young tempters, you are anxious to be able to report spectacular wickedness. But do remember, the only thing that matters is the extent to which you separate the man from the Enemy. It does not matter how small the sins are provided that the cumulative effect is to edge the man away from the Light and out into Nothing. Murder is no better than cards if cards will do the trick. Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts...
Your affectionate uncle,
Screwtape
The Screwtape Letters
By C.S. Lewis
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